The Benefit of Thoughtful Action over Impulsive Reaction

Wouldn't it be great if we could sometimes hit the rewind button and get a "do-over" when we haven't handled a person, situation or circumstances as well as we could have?

For those who agree with this sentiment, there is always hope for a turnaround simply because they acknowledge that they could have handled things better, which requires both awareness and humility.

But what about those who lack such awareness or humility? Or those who habitually act impulsively, speak without considering the consequences, or let their emotions overpower their better judgment?

In their haste to make quick decisions or take decisive action, some individuals overlook the importance of thoroughly evaluating the facts or considering others' perspectives. Thus, they hinder their ability to gain understanding, connect the dots and view situations from different angles.

Additionally, some lack the character or principles to act in the best interests of others or even in their own best interests. Think of those who are self-centered, self-absorbed or selfish.

Others are easily triggered emotionally or succumb to stress, pressure, cognitive overload, or the need for immediate relief or gratification.

That being said, if we are all honest with ourselves, as imperfect people, we have all been guilty of impulsive reactions at one time or another.

Overcoming Impulsive Reactions

So, how does one overcome these personality traits, habits or momentary lapses of judgment?

When I asked myself this question, the following verse from the Bible came to mind -

"Be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to anger." James 1:19 (NRS)

Reflecting on the truth in this verse, my own shortcomings and observations of others, as well as its application to this article, I would paraphrase it as follows –

"Be quick to listen, learn and think, slow to speak or react and slow to let emotions overtake rational thought."

➢ Be Quick to Listen, Learn and Think

Attentive listening helps us grasp others' perspectives, improving communication and understanding. Listening to learn demonstrates respect, cultivates empathy, and informs our thinking. Thoughtful thinking ensures carefully reasoned responses or actions.

➢ Be Slow to Speak or React

Taking time before speaking or reacting allows us to process information and emotions, leading to more measured responses. This practice helps avoid rash decisions and regrettable statements by providing time and space for productive interactions and aligning words and actions with our values or guiding principles.

➢ Be Slow to Let Emotions Overtake Rational Thought

Emotions can cloud our judgment. By regulating emotional responses, we enhance clarity and make decisions based on rational thought. This approach reduces stress and conflicts, promoting balanced and effective interactions.

The bottom line is quite simple and is often an issue in my coaching with clients -

While we don't always control what happens to us, we do control and are responsible for how we respond.

However, there are still those whose responses lack an understanding of the limitations of what they control, or they have difficulty assuming or accepting responsibility for their words, actions or behavior.

Recognition of What We Control and What We Don't

Understanding the difference between actual and perceived control is foundational in managing our actions and reactions. Actual control refers to our tangible influence over a situation, including the ability to make decisions and take actions that directly affect outcomes. On the other hand, perceived control is our belief in our ability to influence situations that may or may not align with reality.

Distinguishing between actual and perceived control is vital because it helps us focus our energy and efforts on areas where we can make a tangible difference rather than wasting time and stress on things beyond our control. By understanding what we can influence, we cultivate a realistic perspective that empowers us to take meaningful action.

As pastor and author Chuck Swindoll states in his book, "Life is 10% What Happens to You and 90% How You React" -

"No one can control what happens to them. Such things are "above our pay grade." But we can control how we choose to deal with what happens to us. You see, it's all about how you respond to what life presents."

Assuming Personal Responsibility/Accountability

There are times when some individuals may reject personal responsibility or accountability, while others might deflect blame onto others or external circumstances.

However, assuming responsibility for our reactions and behaviors is essential. By acknowledging our role in shaping our responses, we empower ourselves to take conscious, thoughtful actions rather than succumb to impulsive reactions.

Taking personal responsibility means recognizing that we can choose our actions, attitudes, and perspectives regardless of external circumstances. It involves being accountable for our emotional regulation, communication, and interactions with others.

"You must take personal responsibility. You cannot change the circumstances, the seasons, or the wind, but you can change yourself." – Jim Rohn, entrepreneur and author.

Final Thoughts

When we focus on thoughtful action, which requires empathy, better decision-making, and a greater understanding of the broader context, we are more likely to respond in a more informed, considerate, and deliberate manner.

Equally important, thoughtful action also requires a clear understanding of what we control and what we don't, as well as assuming personal responsibility and accountability for our words, actions and behavior. While it is natural to have moments of impulsiveness, prioritizing thoughtful action over impulsive reaction can lead to better outcomes, healthier relationships and a more fulfilling life. By being quick to listen, learn, and think, slow to speak or react, and slow to let our emotions overtake our reasoning, we can navigate life's challenges with greater wisdom and grace.

"Wise people think before they act; fools don't—and even brag about their foolishness." – Proverbs 13:16 (NLT)